Abundant joy

A hard gift we received today: My husband had his phone consult with the specialist he saw in Toronto. In a nut shell some severe things are wrong, it's going to cost a lot of money and he's going to have to travel a lot. We are praying for wisdom. I'm also praying for provision and rest. I know He has been faithful in the past. I know He will continue to be so.
I'm struggling with it right now though. Thinking about having a baby and money. Silly I know, but where I am right now.

Really trying to get back into building my habit of thankfulness:

One grace wrinkled: my cardigan.
One grace smoothed: The covers on our comfy bed.
One grace unfolded: Table clothes on Easter tables.

A gift sweet: Treats made by a manager at work for the staff.

A gift salty: Sub at lunch (chicken teriyaki mmm!).
A gift just right: Coming home to dinner made-and it was a treat!

3 gifts found in His Word:
1 Peter 3:9 : Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Psalm 57:2 :  I cry out to God Most High,
    to God who fulfills his purpose for me.

Psalm 56:8  You have kept count of my tossings;
     put my tears in your bottle.
     Are they not in your book?

3 gifts found in Women today:
A-- our assistant manager, always such a servant to both us and customers.
K-- such a hard worker and she helped a newer hire a LOT this afternoon. 
L--A supervisor, who was flexible with her work schedule in order to serve the store and help it run well. (I work with some good ones :) ) 


One grace borrowed:A book on how my baby is growing!
One grace found: My page in my books (getting back to reading).
One grace inherited: a heritage of faith.

A Plethora

I've been shamefully negligent. I have the hardest time staying focused, both on being watchful for His gifts and on updating when I am crazy busy: extra shifts, youth retreats, and exhaustion.
But, I've been keeping track of some gifts on my phone, so here goes!

3 gifts in Christ:
~Him molding my heart.
~Giving me joy.
~Building my faith, trust and confidence in Him.

One gift that made you laugh: My husband being silly, teasing me.

One gift that made you pray: walking outside and hearing the birds praise the Lord.

One gift that made you quiet: Seeing the moon in the early morning over the fir trees.

3 ways you witnessed happiness today:
~A mother cuddling her baby, so happy to have him.
~Little girl gleefully happy to be out with her father and sister.
~Little girl just bursting with joy.

A gift turned: Ice turned to mud.

A gift folded: homemade enchiladas

A gift hung: Jeans hanging on the rail to dry after much fun.

3 hard gifts:
~Learning that my husbands trip to the specialist was going to be over $1600. Trusting God on a new level. Peace.
~ Seeing my husband in daily pain. He knows what is best for us.
~ Having God reveal sins in my heart in order to make me who He wants me to be.

3 gifts given away:
~Time from the cooks who served our youth this past weekend.
~Time, energy and a heart poured out into the chapel sessions for the youth by our youth pastor this past weekend.
~ Comfort zones given away by the youth during their "walk 'n talk" talking about how to apply what they were learning with someone they did not know well.

3 gifts found in silence:
~Butterfly on the inside door of our cabin.

~The first early moments of a busy day at retreat: birds singing, cooks getting breakfast started.
~The peace of a frozen lake.

  3 gifts round:
~Big homemade chocolate chip cookies!
~Hot bowls of pumpkin soup.

~ The sun setting red as I get home from the weekend.

A gift in wind: wind singing in the trees.
A gift in water: toes squishing in mud.

In white: White board where the truth of the Gospel is shared.

Refocusing

Earlier in this "dare" I was discussing it with a friend and compared this new habit of thankfulness to building a new muscle. Boy is it.
Parts of this week I have not been lifting my weights. I'm not very good at wanting to go to the gym.
Some evenings I have just been so tired I can not think very straight. Other nights other things were going on. But I notice the difference in my attitude and focus.
So, time to post some  gifts and read what I should be looking for tomorrow. It's time to refocus.

3 gifts from the past-that help you trust the future:
~Four years ago I almost died. I had a pulmonary embolism from a 12 inch blood clot in my leg. God in His Sovereignty kept me alive for His purposes.
~I didn't have any health coverage at the time as I was new to the country. I needed to be flown to have a surgery that may have saved my life. I received coverage backdated to before I went into the hospital in a way that had never been heard of.
~ The reumbursement check we are getting from the university my husband attended ending two years ago-right when we need it.

Something you are reading: The chapter in "1000 gifts" on having an open hand to whatever God gives you.


Something you are making: Some pictures for my home with scriptures that need to become a real part of my life.

Something your seeing: God changing my heart in huge ways that only He can.

One thing in your bag: My water bottle, keeps me drinking what I need each day!
Your fridge: Some home-made soup from my mother-in-law for my husband.
Your heart: Gratefulness for His grace and patience with me.

I find it so neat that I have already been learning to thank God each day for whatever He chooses to give me and then I read the chapter on just that, where my mediation on this subject widens. Thank You for Your great grace!

Snow storms and grace

Some days I feel like my life is a great adventure. Or maybe just a series of mishaps do to my silliness. I'm not sure which.
Today was one of those days.
I woke up to a note from my husband that the door needed to be shoveled out. It would not close right away because of the snow.
I laughed, bundled up and attacked that drifted snow. I showed it and some ice on our sidewalk who was boss.
I then proceeded to tell our door, which still did not want to close who was boss. But I think it told me.
It still would not close. So, I did what any sensible (or not so sensible, I'll admit it) person would do. I pulled on it and slammed it really hard. REALLY hard.
And now, I am stuck in my house for the day. Because the door is stuck. I still think this is pretty funny, I'll admit it.
And that. That is amazing I realize as I am making my lunch and thinking and giggling to myself.

God, He is amazing. His grace to me is huge.
I was just reading last night the chapter about stress. About how giving thanks leads to trust.
And I have seen that truth transform my life this week.
The last week me who was focused on her situations would have woke up, been cranky over having to go outside and then maybe cried that the door was stuck.
I am starting to truly believe what I am praying each morning. I believe that what He sends my way each day, today, is good, from Him and for my good. And that I can trust Him and rest in Him.
And I'm left in awe realizing how He is changing me.
I'm adding to this bog throughout my day. As I meditate on this.
I just finished reading the chapter in 1000 gifts (yes, it's taking me a while...) on stress. I know that my catch phrase that I used as an excuse is instead "I'm just frustrated." I know either way that the truth is when I cop-out with that excuse I'm just not trusting. I am choosing to remain frustrated and in my gloom instead of resting in Him. A much more joyful place to be. 

So, 3 ugly beautiful gifts:
~Waking up and having to go outside, into the cold and shovel (it was actually a delight!).
~Getting our door stuck.

~Finding my 1000 gifts journal wet, words running. I need to re-write it now...but it's from God's hand. (when will I learn to not leave things on my kitchen table?)

Catching up

3 gifts found in giving, serving:
~Hearing the youth worship in song this weekend. Lifted me up.
~The smell of soup filling my house.
~ Joy found for both of us when I gave a co-worker a little gift to celebrate achievement.

3 gifts on paper
~The best note. Ever.
~Romans 15:13 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
~The drawings on my fridge :).

3 gifts that were plan Bs
~Soup, take two. The first round I used broth that had gone bad (oops! gross!)
~ Spending time with God, thanking Him and having Him pour into me (instead of having a hard, stubborn heart all day).
~ Having to fix my espresso machine. Never planned on it stopping to work. Glad for endurance and help in figuring out what it needed!

Joyful Blessings

I feel as if I should better explain the Joy Dare for those who are unfamiliar with 1000 Gifts. 

Ann Voskamp  was challenged by a friend (as you can read in her book, I challenge you to read it!) to keep a list of 1000 gifts. Gifts from God. This was in response to an email from Ann explaining how God was teaching her about Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving in all things. How ingratitude is a sin. How our lives are meant to be a communion with God.

These gifts don't have to be the huge things. I think that is what has struck me the most. Every little thing around me is a gift from Him and I need to start acknowledging that and thanking Him.  Some of them physical and tangible. Some not as much so.

There is something to naming these gifts. It's hard to put into words. She talks about it in detail in her book, and yet I find it hard myself.

I had started the journal of gifts myself. 

But still. As I wrote yesterday I was struggling. Lost in myself. In my circumstances. In grief. Overwhelmed. And then I saw the post from my friend, clicked on link and decided to do the Joy challenge. 

Something happened. My focus went from me to where it should be, Him. I realized in 3 little ways what gifts He has poured on me and I filled with joy.

As I start to purposefully look for these gifts that are all around me it changes everything. 

And so I continue with the Joy challenge today.

Even if you don't understand, I pray you will see His grace as He opens my eyes to the truth of His gifts that constantly surround me. 

I decided to back up and do some of the days that I missed. I just am getting so much out of it. And am a detailed person.

A gift found at 11: 30am : Christ focused new album.

2:30 pm: Long, refreshing quiet time.

6:30 pm: Chapter "What in the world, in all this world is grace" ~1000 gifts

3 gifts found in writing

" As indeed he says in Hosea,

   “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’
   and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
 “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’
   there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’” Romans 9: 25, 26

 

"Though he slay me, I will hope in him..." Job 13 :15

 "Because God is patient, we should be patient."
~James Montgomery Boice, To the Glory of God

3 gifts found when bent down: A section of green beads that fell on the floor and kept distracting me with their sounds of moving.

The ability to keep my home clean without chemicals.

A load of clean laundry waiting to be folded.

Learning what I already know

This past month has been an adventure of sorts for the two of us.
Andrew has not been able to eat solid food since before Christmas. We're still not completely sure what the issue is. The muscles seem to be getting better so hopefully soon we can see what kind of work the teeth need to solve the real problem. It's not a bone issue though, so that's good.
His intense daily pain. Finding food I can puree for him to eat. Trying to make sure he's getting enough of what he needs each day. Feeling completely helpless.
Currently he is in withdrawal from the pain meds. So he is both in pain as well as dealing with feeling horrible.
And day after day he reminds me "This is the best thing for us. If it were not we would not be going through it."
Finding joy in God period has finally found it's way into my heart through this.
Again dealing with something that is out of my control. Having to completely trust God. All of a sudden something clicked.
Last fall the youth went through the study "the blazing center" which was basically a study through John Pipers Desiring God. I was introduced to the fact that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." hmmm. Sounds good. I tried to wrap my brain around it. I did a bit.
Our pastor continually talks about this. I hear it all the time. Nothing else can take His place. My joy cannot come from circumstances. I've heard parts of it my whole life. Other parts were new.
For many years this has been one of my favorite verses:
^" Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139: 16
I thought I knew what it meant, but did not fully grasp it.
But this time, something came together for me.
I could choose to be miserable because our attempts to start a family were on hold.
I could go around complaining that our life is just horrible because once again we are dealing with a very out of the ordinary illness that may never be explained.
Or I could realize that God is wiser than I.
That my life is never in my control, and this was just a magnified picture of this.
I could choose joy. His joy. I could truly, really realize that God is who He is by His very nature and have that bring me His joy, His peace, confidence.
And I did.
It's a constant battle, but it's also an amazing feeling. From Him.
And in the car a couple of weeks ago I told Andrew that God was teaching me things I already knew. My head knew them. My heart didn't quite grasp them. It wasn't my reality.
I've now thanked Him for this season. For things that seem to my humanness painful, horrible even. And He has turned pain to joy. He can do that!
His grace is Huge.
Choose joy in Him!

Abundant Grace

It's been a rough week. So many sinus headaches. Just not feeling well from my allergies. Emotions. I've been feeling like I was just hanging on as I got through my shifts at work.
It's so comforting to have God's Word right there every day no matter what is going on. Such comfort and strength. Such grace right when I need it.

When I thought, "My foot slips,"
your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.
Ps 94:18, 19

Romans 8:32

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

It's so comforting to know if I don't have something right now, I don't need it;
Or if I have things in my life, it's what's best for me.